True Harry Potter fans know the books hold a special magic about them that the movies will just never capture. From Ginny’s fiery personality to Nearly Headless Nick’s deathday party to Peeves the poltergeist and his terrible pranks, the films just couldn’t squeeze in all the fantastic bits and pieces of the original stories. But, fans of the books will notice there is one other key element missing from the films—all the fun wizarding swear words.
According to Pottermore, in the Harry Potter world, swears aren’t meant to offend so much as they are to add emphasis—though Mrs. Weasley might argue otherwise. Still, basically anything can be a curse word in the Potter world if you say it the right way. To the muggle ear, these words might sound a little unfamiliar and confusing, so here’s a breakdown of the meaning behind these unique swear words and even a few suggestions on how you can use them in your everyday life.
Merlin’s beard/Merlin’s pants
"Merlin’s beard, Harry, you made me jump,' said Slughorn, stopping dead in his tracks and looking wary" —Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
You may have heard of the great wizard Merlin in stories about King Arthur. In the wizarding world, Merlin is a well-respected wizard from ancient times, whose name is often shouted by witches and wizards as an expression of shock. Merlin’s beard, Merlin’s “baggy y-fronts,” Merlin’s pants, or simply just his name are all common curses uttered by the wizarding community in times of surprise or crisis. This one could applicable next time you find out you have a quiz you haven’t prepared for. “Merlin’s beard! I forgot to study” just might be a phrase that will make your friends give you a second look come exam season.
Gallopin’ gorgons
"Gallopin’ Gorgons, that reminds me,’ said Hagrid, clapping a hand to his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse, and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl – a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl – a long quill and a roll of parchment." —Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
This phrase was first said by Hagrid in the Sorcerer's Stone when he realized he’d almost forgotten to send an owl to Dumbledore that he’d given Harry’s Hogwarts acceptance letter. Equivalent to “oh my God,” “good golly,” or “oh shoot,” gallopin’ gorgons can be used in almost any situation. “Gallopin’ gorgons, that’s hot!” is the perfect phrase to utter next time you’re at Starbucks and you spill a drop of your drink on yourself.
Great sizzling dragon bogies
"Filch grabbed a quill from a pot on his desk and began shuffling around looking for parchment. 'Dung,' he muttered furiously, 'great sizzling dragon bogies . . . frog brains . . . rat intestines . . . I've had enough of it . . . make an example . . . where's the form . . . yes . . .'" —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Filch, the groundskeeper of Hogwarts, might be a squib—which means he was born into a wizarding family but can’t do magic—but he’s certainly got a talent when it comes to creating curse words and phrases like the one above. A versatile phrase with no set definition or intended meaning, variations on it may also include “frog brains” or “rat intestines.” For example, “Great sizzling dragon bogies! That battle on Game of Thrones last night was intense!”
Dung brains
"Someone laughed behind Harry. Turning, he saw Fred, George, and Lee Jordan hurrying down the staircase, all three of them looking extremely excited. 'Done it,' Fred said in a triumphant whisper to Harry, Ron, and Hermione. 'Just taken it.' 'What?' said Ron. 'The Aging Potion, dung brains,' said Fred" —Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Not to be confused with a sloth brain potion, a dung brain is similar to the British use of the word “dunderhead,” and it refers to anyone who is acting dumb or not being particularly smart in what they’re saying or doing. It’s the perfect insult for anyone who happens to get on a wizard or witch’s nerves. If your sibling is being a little too annoying for you to properly enjoy the latest episode of Riverdale, it actually might not be nice to call them a dung brain—but it’s good to know what it means!
Mudblood/Creature of the dirt
"Saint Potter, the Mudbloods’ friend,’ said Malfoy slowly. ‘He’s another one with no proper wizard feeling, or he wouldn’t go around with that jumped-up Granger Mudblood. And people think he’s Slytherin’s heir!." —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
This one is perhaps the worst wizard curse word of them all and is considered a highly derogatory term, not recommended for everyday use—or any use at all, really. Only the worst witches and wizards who are prejudiced against others call people mudbloods—meaning individuals with no previous wizarding lineage. This word is most famously used when Draco Malfoy calls Hermione a mudblood, causing quite a stir. Later on in the books, Hermione calls herself a mudblood in an effort to reclaim the word as a muggle-born witch, much to Ron’s surprise—proving that wizarding curses really do vary based on who says them and how.
BONUS: Ron's Swears
“Ron told Malfoy to do something that Harry knew he would never have dared say in front of Mrs. Weasley." —Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Ron Weasley is no stranger to swearing and delivers some of the best wizard curses in the entire series—earning him his own category on the list of wizarding swears. In one particular fit of anger, Ron secretly curses in the Prisoner of Azkaban. “Ron caught up with them five minutes later, in a towering rage,” J.K. Rowling writes. “‘D’you know what that –’ (he called Snape something that made Hermione say 'Ron!') ‘– is making me do? I’ve got to scrub out the bedpans in the hospital wing. Without magic!’ He was breathing deeply, his fists clenched.” While Hermione is known to chide Ron and Harry on occasion, even a casual reader of the books nowadays would know Ron used some choice words to refer to Snape.
Even if you didn’t catch all of these words and phrases during your first read of the books as a kid, there’s always time to go back and reread them in search of even more fun wizard slang and secrets. Now that you’re all caught up on your wizard swearing vocabulary, it might be time to test some words out on your muggle friends next time they’re acting like real flobberworms. Then again, maybe it’s best to leave the name calling up to Ron.
