Remembering My Titan, Mentor, and Friend Gregory Allen Howard

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." - Mahatma Gandhi

This Black History month I want to honor and pay tribute to my dear friend Gregory Howard and the life and legacy he leaves behind. Not a day has passed since hearing the news that my eyes haven't overflown with sadness. It doesn't seem real and writing this feels incredibly strange but somehow therapeutic.

Greg was without question an exceptionally talented human, however what are we if we are just known for our accomplishments? To me, he was so much more. My friend, mentor, biggest supporter, and the closest thing to family outside of blood. We were introduced by a mutual friend 12 years ago in February of 2011 when he was visiting my hometown, London. I was tasked with showing him around the city. We got on like a house on fire. I could always count on him to tell it straight - sometimes he was TOO REAL.

I think that’s why we bonded so well. I was a truth seeker, and he didn’t hold back for anyone! Despite being tough, he reactivated a level of discipline in me that I will continue to cultivate. The athlete's mindset - putting mind over matter and separating from external factors to get the job done. Pure tunnel vision and focus. My earliest memory of this was at 9 years old competing in school. I was a sprinter from the moment I left the womb. Although full of nerves as soon as it was time to race everything would disappear like a switch. Even the other competitors in the race. It was just me against me and no one else. I would run home with medals and certificates and occasional scuffs from pushing myself so hard.

His close friendship with his late friend Muhammad Ali was prevalent. He let me in on his experiences and life lessons and boy could he tell a story. The art of narrative was ingrained in his bones and his passion to pursue screenwriting could not have been a better fit. Although he could be brutal, I always knew it came from a place of love. Even on my toughest days, he would help me tap back into my inner power and turn it all around. He wanted me to be the best in everything I did and taught me the true meaning of strength and resilience.

From giving me books to read as homework, films to watch, and milestones to set. He had something to share for every phase of my journey. One of the first assignments I was given was reading Malcolm Gladwell’s Tipping Point, Blink, and Outliers. In that EXACT order. These titles were mind-altering! When working in music I was told to read CAA ‘Power House’ to understand the ruthless mindset of Hollywood agents. The list was endless. If I was a contestant on 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?' You bet damn sure he would be my “Phone A Friend” without hesitation. He was a living encyclopedia of knowledge. A brain surgeon of a writer. He just knew how to resuscitate words out of a lifeless page.

He told me he would watch a film every single day throughout his life which explains why his home theatre along with his wine and whiskey collection were some of his most prized possessions. As a lover of wine, myself, I learned so much about its history. I still laugh at this email he sent me back in 2016:

"I was talking to my doc and he told me he had to tell a patient that he couldn’t drink wine anymore. I told him, if you tell me that, I’m getting another doctor. He thought I was kidding. I wasn’t. Look at the splash page on my site: Vino es la vida, wine is life. If you have Netflix, stream Red Obsession. There’s a whole world around Bordeaux."

He was an attuned scholar who educated me on Black History and what it meant to be black in America and why I had to work SO much harder. I thought growing up in England was tough trying to break ceilings. This was synonymous with his struggle to bring "Harriet" to the screen. I wept following our private screening with friends and family of the movie because it all came full circle before my eyes. I was so proud. It took 26 years to bring that story to the big screen. 26! If that isn't a lesson in perseverance, then I don't know what is.

His belief in me was unwavering. He was my biggest supporter in the mission I have quietly been building to empower, support and educate menstruating women, born from my own painful experiences. I wouldn't have gotten so far so quickly without him and will forever be grateful. Even on my most recent visit to see him in the hospital he insisted on talking about work and hearing updates. That was Greg! There were so many nuggets of wisdom in our talks that I would fill entire notepads. I would sometimes alternate with voice notes so I could remain present and revisit to make notes. We talked for hours!

Greg was a blessing and an instrumental force in my life. He inspired me daily and provoked me to think bigger, smarter, and more fiercely. He was a thoughtful, patient, and hilarious human who fought the good fight to highlight important stories and educate us all in one way or another. I will forever cherish the time I got to spend with him. May he rest in peace.

For those who are passionate about film, I would like to share with you a list of 70 of his favorites. He lived 70 beautiful years which I am thankful to have been able to share a small portion of. 

GREG’S FAVORITES (In no particular order) L=Love Story C=Comedy D=Drama F=Foreign W=Western T=Thriller

1. The Quiet Man (L) John Wayne


2. It happened One Night (L/C) Clark Gable


3. To Have and Have Not (L) Humphrey Bogart


4. Casablanca (L) Bogart


5. Pocket Full of Miracles (L) Glenn Ford; Bette Davis


6. The Third Man (T) Orson Welles


7. It’s a Wonderful Life (L), Jimmy Stewart


8. Cool Hand Luke (D) Paul Newman


9. Bridge Over The River Kwai (E) Alec Guinness

10. The Hustler (D) Paul Newman; Jackie Gleason


11. Soldier In The Rain (D) Jackie Gleason; Steve McQueen


12. Marty (L) Ernest Borgnine


13. The Apartment (L) Jack Lemon; Shirley McClain


14. Citizen Kane (E) Orson Welles


15. Long Hot Summer (L) Paul Newman; Joanne Woodward; Orson Welles

16. Fortune Cookie (C) Jack Lemon; Walter Matthau


17. Some Like It Hot (C) Lemon and Matthau


18. The Odd Couple (C) Lemon and Matthau


19. Zorba The Greek (D) Anthony Quinn


20. Lawrence of Arabia (E) Peter O’Toole


21. True Grit (W) John Wayne


22. The African Queen (L) Bogart and Kate Hepburn


23. On Golden (L)Pond (L) Henry Fonda and Kate Hepburn


24. Sayonara (L/D) Marlon Brando


25. On The Waterfront (D) Brando


26. To Sir With Love (D) Sidney Poitier


27. Lillies of the Field (D) Sidney Poitier


28. Annie Hall (L/C) Woody Allen


29. Broadway Danny Rose (C) Woody Allen


30. Night At The Opera (C) Marx Brothers


31. Being There (C) Peter Sellers


32. Absent Minded Professor (C) Jerry Lewis


33. King Rat (D) George Segal


34. In The Heat of the Night (D) Poitier and Rod Steiger


35. One Flew Over the Coo Coo’s Nest (C/D) Jack Nicholson


36. Miracle Worker (D)


37. The Paper Chase (D) John Houseman


38. The Godfather I & II

39. The Conversation (D) Gene Hackman


40. The Bicycle Thief (F)


41. Ben Hur (E) Charlton Heston


42. Paper Moon (C/D) Ryan and Tatum O’Neal

43. Stalag 17 (D) William Holden

44. Mr. Roberts (D) Henry Fonda; James Cagney; Jack Lemon

45. Compulsion (D) Orson Welles


46. Raise The Red Lantern (F)


47. Days Of Wine and Roses (D) Jack Lemon

48. Bang The Drum Slowly (C/D) DiNiro; Michael Moriarity

49. Nashville (Epic Comedy) Lilly Tomlyn


50. The French Connection (T) Gene Hackman


51. Patton (E) George C. Scott

52. Dr. Stangelove (Dark Comedy) Peter Sellers

53. BoomTown (D) Clark Gable


54. Moby Dick (D) Gregory Peck


55. Cain Mutiny (D) Bogart

56. Mutiny On the Bounty (D) Get the Original with Brando and Laughton

57. Chariots of Fire (E) Bunch of Brits


58. Thomas Crowne Affair (D) Steve McQueen; Faye Dunaway


59. Network (D) William Holden; Faye Dunnaway; Robert Duvall

60. The Year of Living Dangerously (L/T) Mel Gibson; Sigourney Weaver

61. Amadeus (D) Tom Hulce; F. Murray Abraham


62. From Here To Eternity (D) Burt Lancaster; Frank Sinatra


63. Cleopatra (E) Liz Taylor and Richard Burton

64. Fail Safe (T) Henry Fonda


65. Seven Days in May (D) Burt Lancaster; Kirk Douglas


66. Taxi Driver (D) This is violent but good. DiNiro; Jody Foster

67. Ride The High Country (W) Randolph Scott


68. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (D) Jimmy Stewart

69. Sorcerer (D) Roy Scheider


70. Farewell My Concubine (F) An epic

#tribute #remembering #gregoryallenhoward #life #legacy #memory #film #story #narrative #screenwriter #blackhistory #blackhistorymonth #blacklivesmatter #restpeacefully