Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964)

Roninson Crusoe on Mars.jpg

This Film is Scientifically Authentic…if You Think Phrenology is a Science.

So a little Behind the BMB Curtain: I rarely review a film I have already seen. When you read a write-up, it is usually based off my raw first impression of the movie. Robinson Crusoe on Mars is an exception. As a kid, I watched this film more times than I can count on TV 50 - WKBD out of Detroit, usually falling asleep half-way through. My memories of the movie were warm. Watching it for the first time in over forty years left me hot.

So what’s this movie about?

We’ll include a few more spoilers than usual, but the biggest one is fair game according to our rule that “if it’s in the title, it probably ain’t a spoiler.” Still, for the sensitive among us…SPOILER: This movie is about a guy who is stuck on Mars.

The broad outlines of the movie follow the classic Daniel Defoe novel: man is marooned, man learns how to survive, man finds a companion, man and companion struggle and are eventually rescued. The producers of the film offer their propers to Mr. Defoe, even noting in the credits that the movie is based on his book

Robinson Crusoe on Mars is actually pretty good during its first hour. It begins with astronauts Chris Draper (Paul Mantee - Apollo 13) and American treasure Adam West (as Colonel Dan McReady) on a survey mission above the red planet. West is only on screen for a few minutes but is solid and serious, leaving one to wonder how his career might have unfolded if he had not taken up the bat cowl two years after Robinson.

Bad things happen on the mission and Draper finds himself struggling to survive on Mars. The first act follows him as he claws his way up Maslow’s ladder, overcoming a lack of oxygen, food, water, and shelter until he is comfortable enough to actualize by hiking around the Martian landscape playing Dixie on homemade bagpipes (as one would normally do if marooned on an alien planet). While he struggles with loneliness and boredom, he is kept afloat by the company of another survivor: Mona (played with panache by The Woolly Monkey). Mona’s post-Robinson career was not remarkable, but her delivery here was among the film’s best.

While the movie had the makings of a fun retro version of Castaway, with Mona playing the role of Wilson, things go off the rails about half way through.

Enter Friday.

Friday’s people are a race of slaves working as miners for extra-terrestrial overlords. Sound familiar? Now you know where Crazy Hair Man on Ancient Aliens gets his material.

Through a serious of loud misadventures, Friday escapes his masters and joins Draper who informs him that “I’m the boss! You remember that!”

Friday was played by Victor Lundin (Batman), a character actor of English and German descent who made a fair living portraying Native Americans (and the occasional Klingon). It is pretty clear he is doing the same in Robinson. Lundin’s Friday is the cutout tobacco store wooden Indian, wearing a loin cloth, communicating with grunts and sign language, and sporting red hued makeup to give him the “right” look. He spends much of the second half of the movie kneeling to a knife wielding Draper, who explains in his tape diaries that “I’m trying to establish communications with him.” He eventually does after forcing Friday to learn to speak American, carry his bags, wear his clothes, and pray to Draper’s god.

I’m glad all that went over my head as a kid.

I could go on about this but will simply say that this part of the story was consistent with the thinking of more than a few people of the time - including ones who considered themselves quite enlightened. Native peoples, whether American Indian, from Africa, or a small country called Vietnam, were not bad. They were childlike because they lacked strong leadership. Once that was provided they could perform nearly all the work of a non-Native and might even become trustworthy.

So none of that is good. But there is good in this movie. The first half is, as mentioned, solid. Adam West is superb in his limited role. And the Technicolor scenes - most shot in Death Valley and near Yuma, Arizona, are breathtaking.

You can rent Robinson Crusoe on Mars on Amazon HERE. It is also available for sale, but a little pricey and I can’t see myself watching more than once every decade or so.

Two out of Five Woolly Monkeys.

🙊🙉

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