We are very passionate about weird and obscure Mario characters, and you should be, too. Posting regularly twice a week, with Mario universe posts on Tuesdays, and non-Mario creatures on Fridays!
Name: Stretch
Debut: Super Mario Bros. 3
Have you ever thought to yourself “Man I LOVE Boos but I wish they were a bit more… liquid!”
We’ve all been there! Fortunately the Mario devs felt the same way, and we got this cutie as a result!
Stretch is a goopy Boo which seems to be bound to a rectangular block, seemingly of the same material as a Stretch. Multiple individuals can be in a block at a time, they can move alongside it freely, but in a liquid fashion, like a water droplet on a tilted surface, or some syrup on your pancake!
The rectangular block where the little guys are tethered to can be stood on like any regular block! Just make you sure a Stretch isn’t where you land. What is this block made out of? Is it concentrated Boo flesh? Goopy essence where all the Boos are born from? It does seem to have the same liquid properties as the Stretches, but landing on them doesn’t damage you so it can’t be an actual Boo. I would like to study these funny rectangles, Professor E. Gadd should’ve been studying these all along!
Noooooo who took their funtime block from them? Ah well, they still seem to be very goopy and joyful in their liquid movement.
Super Mario Maker had Stretch make a surprise comeback, though with a key change to their design, they are now a singular blob, but they can now be tethered to ANY solid surface. Given the nature of Mario Maker, this change does make a lot of sense, but it’s still a shame they aren’t a weird rectangle anymore. But now they can slide their gooey bodies along anywhere! So I really can’t be mad.
Wherever they may appear next I hope they’re happy with their blobby selves.
I’ll be frank, this isn’t a very weird Mario enemy at all. It’s just a big Piranha Plant. The main reason I’m including this is because in the Nintendo Power guide for Super Mario Bros. 3, they gave all the giant enemies faux-scientific names, and I kind of miss that. They just call these guys “Big Piranha Plants” now.
Name: Big Piranha Plant (as of New Super Mario Bros.)
Hey everybody! We’re doing something weird again! That, or I’m doing something weird again, because I don’t know if either of the other mods have experience with this! This is a screencap of the Super Mario Bros. 3 Nintendo Power Strategy Guide. What a mouthful! But an important mouthful, as this was one of my first pieces of exposure to the wonderful world of Weird Mario Enemies. Back in… 2008? 2009? My grandparents owned an NES, which had a copy of Super Mario Bros. 3, alongside this. With a couple pages dedicated to all the enemies in the game, I pretty much read that part obsessively, at one point drawing every single enemy I saw! I just found this thing delightful! In hindsight, many of the enemies covered in this manual feel relatively tame, but now that I’ve found an imgur gallery of the whole thing, I feel I should get to share my past with all of you, alongside other cool things I’ve discovered upon looking back upon it! Let’s-a go!
Aww! Awwww! Isn’t this just the cutest thing you’ve ever done seen? A blooper babysitter, with little blooper kids! It almost seems like a shame to defeat them.
This happy family first shows up in Super Mario Bros. 3, and like just about anything from that game, they’ve been referenced a bunch over the years!(Mostly in the NSMB games.)
They’ll pretty much act like normal Bloopers, with the babies following behind, until she fires the kids in all directions. Hm… that doesn’t seem all that responsible for a nanny. I’m sure their parents wouldn’t approve. Maybe that’s why, in Super Mario Maker, they just don’t do that at all. But then, they’re not that different from normal Bloopers, are they?
If you need some more daily dose of adorable: check out this official Mario LINE Sticker!! Look at it!! It’s so cute!! They all do the head tilt!
Thank you for looking. I’m really glad LINE exists.
ALLLLLLLLLLRIGHT MAGGOTS, LISTEN UP! TODAY WE’RE HEADIN’ TO BOOT CAMP!
To talk about the big boot that Goombas like to wear, that is! In one specific level of Super Mario Bros. 3, you encounter a strange power-up never seen anywhere else… the Goomba’s Shoe! Inside the Goomba’s Shoe is a variation of Goomba only named by the Nintendo Power guide as “Kuribo’s Goomba.” Now, for those of you that know the Japanese names of some common enemies, you’d realize that more-or-less means “Goomba’s Goomba,” which is kind of a silly name! But hey! We’re all for silliness here!
The Kuribo’s Goomba is given all sorts of weird powers with their shoe, including the ability to bounce really high, jump over spikes, and slam down on Mario wherever they feel! With this, you may wonder why more Goombas don’t wear the Goomba Shoe?
Well, because if they’re not careful, Mario can take the shoe and get all the same powers! With the ability to now hop over large Muncher pits, bounce off the backs of Spinies, and jump much higher than he already could, the truth of the Goomba Shoe is that with great power comes great responsibility. And the Goombas? Well, they just aren’t very responsible! Fortunately, Bowser, thinking a little ahead, restricted the Goomba Shoe to one level completely, and as soon as that level is done, you lose the shoe.
And that was all there was with the Goomba Shoe for many, many years.
It had a brief appearance in the hilariously named Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3, where it was even more incorrectly named “Karoobi’s Shoe,” but there’s not really much to say aside from that, aside from how silly it is.
By Super Mario 3D World, however, even though the shoe didn’t return itself, we did get a clear reference to it, where in a few levels, Goombas can be seen sliding around in giant ice skates, that you can steal and wear on your own! The skates even let you slide over spikes, but they are a little harder to control than the shoes, so be careful!
And by Super Mario Maker… we finally got the return of the Goomba Shoe in its original form, plus a sweet new stiletto variant! Check it out!
Lookin’ good for the date tonight, Kuribo’s Goomba! I hope you and your girlfriend have a lovely night out! The stiletto variant has just about no differences from the normal variant, aside from a stronger ground pound when you make it large, and a silly feminine laugh when you attach wings! But it isn’t about the differences… it’s about the style!
But more importantly, it’s about the ability to use the Goomba Shoe in any level we wish from here on out! For a long, long time, the Goomba Shoe has been missing completely… but now… there are near-infinite possibilities for the Goomba Shoe… and if that’s not beautiful, I don’t know what is!
Most power-ups aren’t THAT interesting. Yeah, this mushroom has eyes. That’s fine. It’s a silly cartoon world, it’s not THAT weird that Mario would eat a mushroom with eyes. Super Bell? Frog Suit? Those are most likely just worn somehow.
But THIS? This is a little guy.
The Hammer Suit is somewhat of a cryptid. It only appears randomly and in secret areas, and is SO secret it’s not even in the instruction book! It’s a good thing it’s secret, though, because the hammers can instantly destroy just about any entity they come into contact with.
But is this REALLY a suit? This looks just like a Toad wearing a different outfit! There is CLEARLY flesh there. This is not something that can be worn, unless the infant within is ousted first.
Yes, the Tanooki Suit has eyes, too, but those eyes are in a void, indicating that this is, in fact, an empty suit that Mario wears. But there is no doubt in my mind that Hammer Suit is a real little guy!
So how is it used? There’s no way it’s worn, that’s out of the question. Is it just touched, and its power gained? Maybe, but where’s the fun in that?
The only explanation that’s both logical AND wacky is that Mario eats this entire little armored guy to gain its power. Why do you think they’re so hidden in the game? Unlike the other power-ups, these ones ARE sentient, and they’ve got feet. They can run!
The hi-quality art at the top of this post is from a series of power-up keychains, which means Hammer Suit merchandise exists. Isn’t that splendid? I think it is. I think Hammer Suit and Goombeetle should be friends. Friends with keychains.
I tried to make a Mii of Hammer Suit, but it was sadly too good to be true… I was able to at least hide the mouth with a skin-colored mustache, but noses come out on top no matter what! Surely at this point, Nintendo knows how many people want to use the Mii Maker to make funny creatures instead of humans. Let us make any features invisible already!
Finally, perhaps there is a reason for all this strangeness… Here, thanks to The Cutting Room Floor, we see Hammer Suit next to… Toad Suit?! Toad Suit doesn’t exist! But maybe it was going to! You see, when a Hammer Suit emerges from a large ? Block, it takes the form of Toad Suit for some reason! Which I guess would have given Mario all the powers of a Toad! But they decided not to let Mario emit spores from his pores, and decided the sprite still seemed like a good basis for the Hammer Suit.
So, now we know why Hammer Suit looks like a weird flesh baby! Hooray!
Hey, buster, what do you think you’re doing? This is no way to be a Buzzy Beetle! I’m honestly not sure why you’re a Buzzy Beetle at all. But it’s okay, because you are absolutely adorable, and because it’s always a good time when one kind of creature evolves unlike the rest of its kin! Like kiwis! The birds that are honorary mammals!
For some reason, it’s taken me until now to truly play SMB3, and in all this time, I don’t think I’ve EVER been made aware of Buster Beetle’s existence. What gives? Where are all the Buster Beetle fans? SMB3 is so popular that you have absolutely NO excuse. You’ve been busted!
What makes Buster Beetle so notable is that is shares absolutely nothing in common with your typical Buzzy Beetle! Usually, they’re slow-moving, jump-resistant, fireball-immune creatures that can climb on walls and ceilings. Not Buster! Buster says to heck with stereotypes! Buster’s gonna be FAST. Buster’s gonna PICK UP AND THROW BLOCKS. Buster’s gonna BECOME EXTREMELY VULNERABLE TO ANY OF MARIO’S ATTACKS. Yeah, it’s not perfect, but that vulnerability only makes the statement more powerful, don’t you think?
Let’s take a look at Buster evolutionarily, though! If you ask me, the new vulnerabilities make perfect sense. Having evolved bipedalism, as well as the abilities to run and manipulate objects, it would make sense for Busters to have a reduced shell. Maybe it still offers a bit of protection to some predators, but its soft underbelly is exposed to fireballs, and the shell might just not be strong enough to withstand a signature Mario Jump.
I appreciate you, Buster Beetle! I’m glad you’re arbitrarily designed as a Buzzy Beetle. It makes you more interesting!
D’awwww! Look at those precious li’l things! Don’t you just want to get up real close and give them a big ol’ squeeze?
Well don’t! Because that is a really bad idea! Rather than opting for some generic spike trap, the Mario series’ “invincible pit hazard enemy” is these cute little plants! You see, Munchers are a great example of showing how a game works, if not a sort of silly one.
As soon as you see Munchers, your instinct is probably “Wow! How adorable! I want to give these things a big ol’ hug!” And when you think that, you jump into the Muncher pit, but then you take damage and realize that probably isn’t safe. So then you avoid Munchers from then on out! You see? Typical game design. Miyamoto is a genius.
Munchers are some of the toughest enemies in the entire Mario series! Even other “invincible” enemies, like Thwomps or Chain Chomps are still taken down by a Super Star, but with Munchers, you just walk right over them! And they remain right there. Are they biting? Or are they laughing at you?
Goomba Shoes and Yoshi can’t defeat them either! Initially Yoshi could walk over them, but by New Super Mario Bros. Wii, he lost that ability. Maybe Yoshi needs to buy new shoes?
There are only a few ways to defeat Munchers, so listen up closely! The first way to defeat them is with a POW Block, which apparently has a force so powerful it uproots all Munchers in its radius and throws them off the screen! The other way to defeat them is with a ground pound in a Goomba’s Stiletto! You gotta put your foot down, I say! You can also knock them out with a Spiny Shell, but this technique only works in Super Mario Maker. In fact, most of these techniques only work in Super Mario Maker! It’s the only game where Munchers appear with any of these items!
However, there is one way to defeat them in Super Mario Bros. 3, and only Super Mario Bros. 3, which is to activate a P-Switch. Apparently Munchers are legally a type of brick block! How strange! I could’ve sworn they were Piranha Plants!
Sometimes it’s easy to forget this, but Mario’s life is pretty tough. He has to rescue princesses from giant fire-breathing turtles on a regular basis, he’s had to watch the collapse of the universe on at least two separate occasions, and he has to regularly face off with a number of weird enemies, as we’ve seen on this blog, some of which would be invincible if not for their poor decorative choices, like the Topmen from yesterday!
But sometimes, the world hating Mario isn’t enough. Sometimes, the sun, the actual sun in the sky, hates Mario too. Does this guy ever get a break?!
The Angry Sun debuts in Super Mario Bros. 3, where it just hangs out in the top-left corner of the screen, waiting for Mario to make it far enough, when suddenly, it will start swooping down, trying to scorch Mario alive. It will relentlessly pursue Mario for the rest of the level, and can add another layer of focus to any platforming action that’s going on, so you better watch out!
You actually can kill the Angry Sun, though. With an invincibility star or Hammer Bro. Suit, you can knock it right out of the sky, which probably has terrible ramifications for everyone else. Is this the actual sun? The actual real sun? How will plants get nourishment? How will the Mushroom World get light? Don’t you realize how quickly temperatures will drop?
These are probably all silly questions, as the Angry Sun is probably not even the real sun. It’s the size of a plumber for goodness sake.
But that doesn’t stop it from pursuing Mario, even when he’s go-karting! The course Desert Hills is specifically based on the desert levels from Super Mario Bros. 3, and features the Angry Sun as well! Here it doesn’t swoop down to hurt racers, though, as that might be a little unfair to players in the lead, so instead it just summons Fire Snakes near whatever part of the course it’s on. Aside from that, it just kind of hangs around in the sky, grimacing at everyone down below.
I like to think that this guy might be related to all those pictures we drew where we gave the sun a smiley face and sunglasses. Maybe that’s why it’s so angry! It lost its sunglasses!
You’re right, Mod F Boy! We are NOT done talking about block enemies, and you know why? Because I’m a rebel. You might’ve said that Pile Driver Micro-Goomba doesn’t deserve its own post, but you know what? I think it does. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me! Gwahahaha!
So why does Pile Driver Micro-Goomba deserve its own post? Why, because of its overly-clunky name! I know we’ve brought that up more than once here, but really now. Let’s talk about this, because I want to talk about this. The name is likely derived from the piledriver wrestling move, where a wrestler grabs their opponent and flips them upside-down, but that’s not really an ability Pile Driver Micro-Goomba has. It just hops around, trying to slam down on Mario when above him!
Maybe it’s because it drives around a pile of bricks, but those bricks look too… well put together to count as a pile. And what kind of pile anyhow? A hotel resort pile? A breakfast pile?
Also take note that these are Micro-Goombas specifically. I get that they wanted to specify that, but like, who really cares about the size of the Goombas inside the blocks? Well, we do, probably, but aside from us. They could’ve just called it “Pile Driver Goomba” and it would be a much less clunky name!
That or drop the pile/piledriver pun entirely and go for a name like “Blockhead Goomba.” Why not do that? I love when an enemy’s name sort of makes fun of the enemy. It might be a little rude, sure, but it’s also always kinda entertaining.
Pile Driver Micro-Goombas also appeared in the equally awkwardly named The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3, where they were just called “blocks.” You see? Easy as that! It clearly shows what they are (blocks) and drops any pun that makes no sense! Who cares if there’s no apparent Goomba connection anymore?
…Actually, we do. Don’t take naming advice from a show called The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3. Just. Call them Blockhead Goombas. That’s the name I’d use.
(I wanted to write some more about Melon Bug, and I liked the original post just fine, so this post will be a continuation since that one was so short!)
An isopod! Oh, joyous day! It may not look like one at all with that big ol’ nose, but when it’s rolled up, there is no mistaking it! Here’s a very fun fact: when an isopod curls into a ball, it’s called conglobation! Use that in your everyday lives.
ALT
Melon Bug technically isn’t an enemy, you know the drill, weird Mario friends, that usual thing. When curled up, Yoshi can lick them up and spit them out, defeating enemies they hit! Could this be the first instance of weaponized isopods?
The Player’s Guide says “These feisty hoppers transform from bug to melon and back again.” Feisty? They’re only slightly more feisty than a real pill bug! And a real pill bug has a negative Feistiness Level. I don’t think whoever wrote this has played the game, since Melon Bug is harmless! I also don’t think they know about real pill bugs, because they clearly can’t cogitate conglobation. A bug transforming into a melon? How unrealistic! What do they think this is, Trip World?
ALT
I think “Melon Bug” is a very good name. An incredible name, even! When Melon Bug curls up, it, obviously, resembles a melon, what with both being round with stripes. While real pill bugs don’t really have “stripes”, their tergites (armor plates) do give a “lined” appearance. If you ask me, Melon Bug could be a good name even for real terrestrial isopods!
What do YOU call pill bugs? I’ve always called them roly-polies, but they have so many wacky names. Woodlouse? Yeah sure, a bug that lives under wood, why not! Butchy-boy? I don’t get it, but it’s funny. Then there are all the names comparing them to pigs which I just do not get, but groundhogs also get compared to pigs in common names a lot, so maybe people just don’t know pigs as well as they like to think. And THEN! England gave them a bunch of CHEESE-related names. What is happening over there? Are British people somehow making cheese from isopod secretions? Why would you call this creature a CHEESELOG? That’s a straight up food! I kind of love this name for them for being so ridiculous! Anyway, my point with all this is that Melon Bug would be more actually fitting than the majority of the common names these have been given, but sometimes it is more fun to be unfitting!
Isn’t it weird how Melon Bug’s art doesn’t quite look like the sprite? Such bulging eyes in the art, but little dots in-game… well, we now know the reason!
ALT
Remember Super Donkey, from the 2020 gigaleak? I feel like it’s been far too forgotten for how interesting it is! Anyway, as I mentioned when talking about that game, Melon Bug was originally designed for it! It seems like the Yoshi’s Island art was drawn before they decided to shrink its sclerae, and lighten its colors, but after they decided to give it little red shoes.
If you grew up calling roly-polies something else, or if you know fun names from other languages, I would love to hear them! And I hope you love and appreciate these creatures! They are so common and easy to observe, so rather than get jaded to their presence, celebrate them, and you will be able to find delight whenever you turn over a log!
